Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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