He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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