you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
