Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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