Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
