Your mouth is God's brothel.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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