office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize