On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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