Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
