remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
