Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
