everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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