I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
