my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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