the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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