He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
