ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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