I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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