Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
