No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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