i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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