I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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