I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
