I just made out with a guy for $7.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
