Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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