Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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