Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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