i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
