Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
