Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
