PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
