One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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