You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
