let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
