Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
