i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You took a bar mat shot.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
