I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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