Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize