i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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