There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
