I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
