I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
