Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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