Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
