I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
There's even glitter on my cock...
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