She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
