I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
