He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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