That's intense
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
