She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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