The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize