Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Farmville is her only friend.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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