Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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