I want to walk on stilts...naked
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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