you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
