they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
