I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize