I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
