Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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