You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
