he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
