So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ketchup is God's man juice
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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