i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
