he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize