I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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