mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
