cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
