I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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