I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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