im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
